Mom of 18-month-old hit while running, suffers severe Brain Injury

Welcome back to Between the Before and After, a podcast about the stories that shape us.

I'm your host, Coach Jon McLernon. Each episode, I bring you an inspiring guest with a moving story that shines a light on the power of the human spirit. I'm excited to share this story with you. So let's dive in.

So imagine you're just running along the road one day like you've always done, and then and something happens that dramatically changes your life and maybe even erases a small portion of your life and alters your path in life forever.

This is Kristen's story of life after traumatic brain injury.

Welcome to the show, Kristen.

Thank you, Coach John. I'm very honored that you're having me. Thank you so much.

Yeah, for sure. I'm excited to talk about your story and the book that you've also written as a part of your story called Sunrise and really explain life after that.

And so we're gonna dive into some of the challenging details what it actually looks like to go through this.

So I'm also honored to be able to share your story. And so, yeah, before we dive in, what are you up to currently?

Currently, just it's summertime, enjoying the summer with the family and we're doing travels this weekend, actually.

We were in Florida with my younger son and his friends.

We were celebrating his 19th birthday.

That's exciting.

We're all celebrating except, you know, you know how 19 year olds are.

[1:30] They went off and celebrated on the road. Of course, of course.

But we're at the beach.

Yeah, well in Canada, 18 and 19 are the legal drinking age. I think it's 21 in the US.

So when I was, where I turned 19, it was, the legal age was 19.

And so, you know, it's a big deal to have your, my dad already had my first drink, Well and Truly before then, but it's a big deal to be able to legally drink, you know.

Right, exactly. Ours is 21, though, but I'm sure they still had a great time. I'm sure they did.

Well, so you're currently residing in Texas, is that right? Yes, Houston, Texas.

OK, now is it kind of dry heat in Houston?

Oh, boy, it's hot, toasty. I'd say humid, hot, very hot.

July and August, very hot and humid. September we start seeing some good changes towards the fall.

Right. I was just thinking, you go from like Texas to Florida. So, you know, in my mind, when I think about Texas, and maybe Houston's a little closer to the coast, but I'm thinking like dry sort of desert and like dry heat, like, and then you go to Florida, which is like swampy humidity, that's just absolutely oppressive and ridiculous.

Right, exactly. But it's sort of the same here in Houston, just because Galveston's about an hour away. You were right off the coast.

[2:53] Yeah, yeah. But it's all good. Summer's good. Yeah. And are you born and raised Texas?

I was born actually in Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia, where my dad was getting his PhD over at UVA.

Okay. And my mom was working at the library at UVA.

[3:13] All right. Okay. So, I mean, it's probably not as hot in Virginia as it is in Texas. Oh, right, right.

A bit of a shock when you make that adjustment. So yeah, so kind of growing up, was there anything in particular that you had a passion for sports, athletics?

No, I always did. I love to run and I love to swim. Those were my two things that I love to do.

And I used to go running with my dad at the Dahern Hills track.

And I just remember after his work, obviously I was a student of an elementary school.

[3:55] We would go to the track across the street at the Dahern Hills Elementary School.

That's fantastic. So, and it's a great way to bond and a great way to set a good precedent from parent to child to take up an active lifestyle and to encourage that. Yes, yes.

They always did.

Yeah Did you did you compete in any particular adventure sports like in you know, swimming freestyle or something like that or oh, yes Um, I swam freestyle, of course was my favorite or breaststroke really, And then yeah, we would compete but you know the.

[4:33] Elementary leagues You know nothing like the Olympics, although I know that was a dream back then Right, of course, of course. And so, moving into your teen years, did you spend teen years in Virginia as well?

Actually, no. See, you're talking about my dad. He's in oil. And so, we moved around a lot. So, we lived in Virginia, California, Saudi Arabia, and Houston. And then they moved back to Saudi Arabia.

Okay. And now they're currently back in Houston. Okay. So you spent some of your childhood years in Saudi Arabia? Some of my childhood was in Saudi Arabia, yes.

Best years. And then we moved to Houston. So how old were you when you had it? Because I don't remember this from your story. This is cool. How old were you when you went over there and how long were you there? And we, well this time when we went, when I was there. We were there for seven years. Seven years? Yes. It was a bulk of my childhood.

What? Seven years. We moved when I was around 12 years old. Okay. Wow. Okay. So you go from Virginia to Saudi Arabia. Cal, no. Virginia, Cal, sorry. I'm confusing everything.

[6:00] Virginia, California, then Saudi Arabia. Okay. Yeah. Even then, to go from, had you been overseas to any foreign countries before that?

Before that, no, but when I was born in Charlottesville, Virginia, we moved, I mean, my family, my parents, my grandparents lived in Istanbul, Turkey in the Princess Islands over there.

So we did all that as we grew.

That's fantastic. currently is head of a languages department at a school overlooking the Bosphorus and.

[6:44] Yeah, yeah So we've been cycling around the Princess Islands Istanbul's one of my favorite cities to go and visit because he's been there for 14 years now and so Yes, that is back when, Back, it started in the 70s when I was born in 73, That that would have been a really cool time to check out like Turkey's a fascinating country I really enjoyed visiting there for anybody listening. I do strongly recommend checking out, Inflation over there is awful right now But what it means actually is if you go there as a tourist everything is like very inexpensive I'm you know we were able to like rent a car for like a hundred bucks for like a week and Like we got like a really nice hotel in southern Turkey for like, Were you in Bodrum?

We made a base in like Antalya and sort of just traveled either direction a couple of hours and went to visit all the ruins and things so.

[7:39] Yeah, and Cappadocia Incredible region to visit and Pamukkale while we're talking about Turkey Pamukkale is just an incredible geological phenomenon That's worth checking out. And of course Istanbul was the capital city of three different empires And so the amount of history there is just incredible Exactly. I mean, you said it perfectly, the history. When you land there, you're just, surrounded by history. It's immersed in you automatically. I mean, just looking, I remember growing up as a child and just seeing everything. Everything is just so historic and interesting. And I loved going to my grandmother's island house over in, it's called Borgazda, Borgazada, but it's Borgaz, and they used to have horse and carriages over there as transportation, but now it's little cars.

Yeah.

A couple of the islands still are bicycle only, like you take a ferry over there and you can ride a bike. Yes, the ferry. Or you take the ferry over, you ride a bike, and you can do horse and carriage only there.

So a couple of Princess Islands you still can't do cars on. Yeah.

I want to hear about those, because I know Borgas, they ended it a couple years ago, and it was really sad for me to hear that, because that was our way of transportation.

[9:08] Yeah, so it's really cool to get to experience that, especially as a child, and especially in your formative years, to have your mind kind of expanded to see these things, which is incredible.

And so, yeah, so when you went to Saudi Arabia, so if you're 12 years old, would that make it 1985? Yeah, good one. Very good with math. I like that. Quickly try to do math in my head. So 1985, going over to Saudi Arabia, really an interesting time historically, because in 1979 Iran had had the cultural revolution. And so there was some degree of tension kind of between Saudi Arabia and Iran because they are sort of polar opposites in the world of Islam. And so, yeah, so you go over there. And a lot of people think of Turkey as like the Middle East, but it's really not. Turkey is much more European than it is. Yes. Yes, indeed. I love that you're saying this. And also, just to clarify, because Turkey is a Muslim country, except we are Armenian from Turkey. And Armenian is Christian. But, you know, I mean, that's just a side note.

[10:18] Yeah. Well, an interesting anecdote there, kind of, is about 10 years ago, our prime minister got into a diplomatic spat with Turkey because of his recognition of the Armenian genocide that took place. That was unrecognized. Oh, yes. My parents and brother will have a full-fledged, yes, the Armenian Genocide took place 100 years ago. Yeah, it was one of the most, it's one of the least talked about, but one of the most tragic atrocities that occurred as a byproduct of World War I, actually. Very true. I'm glad you, this is impressive that you know about it because usually, you know...

Yeah. Oh, it's a gorgeous thing. People are familiar. Yes.

Right, because it's this tiny little country, you know, relatively small population.

[11:08] Relatively speaking, like Armenia, you could fit into, I don't know, probably one of the smaller U.S. states in terms of area.

You fit into Texas probably a dozen times over at least, maybe more like 30 or 40 times. Right.

But it's like so much history and civilization exists in that part of the world.

And so I think it's very cool that you have that as a part of your historic connections.

Yeah, thank you. It's, yeah, it's just embedded in me. I was born into it.

Right, right. And so when you went to Saudi Arabia, what was it like? Because this is pre, because of course, this is pre-internet. This is pre-cell phones.

This is pre-everything. Yeah, it was 70s, 80s. We came over to the United States in the 80, 85, like you said. Yes.

[11:52] Yeah. And so what was it like, what was the difference for you in Saudi Arabia versus living in the U.S.?

First of all, we lived on an Aramco compound, the American Aramco compound. And it was small.

Everyone knew everyone, everything, everybody. It was a great small town feel. I didn't know any different. When we moved to the United States, everything was huge, huge. So.

[12:31] But I have fond memories of Dahran, Saudi Arabia. And how did you find like the heat over there? We were talking about the heat between Florida and Texas. Right, exactly. Okay, so as hot as it is in Florida and Texas, Saudi Arabia gets the award, the gold award for heat. It would get up to 120 during the summer.

Yeah, humid, but I don't remember it being as humid as here, but I was also little. So who knows? CB. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, when I was in Dubai, about 10 years ago, I was in Dubai and the air conditioned bus stops.

It was like, thank you, because I am Canadian. And so I'm born and bred right now.

Yeah, you're from Canada, okay.

Yeah, we have the frigid winters where it's like minus 40, which, you know, regularly.

And so to go there where 120 is like 50, plus 50 Celsius, it's just absurd to think about existing that kind of heat. It was absurd, but I guess we were all used to it and it was normal to us.

[13:47] I mean, no complaints from us, I mean, at least the kids, all the kids there.

Right. Right. Yeah. So, eventually you find yourself back in the United States. How old were you? You were 19 when you returned to the US?

No, I was 12 when we returned to the US. Oh, 12 when you returned to the US. Okay.

12. And then junior high, high school over in Katy, Texas, and then And then, Nacogdoches for college, which is Stephen F. Austin.

And then back to Houston after college.

[14:26] And what was it that you studied at college? I studied health science and nutrition.

Oh, fantastic. So kind of carrying your passion for running a healthy lifestyle.

Yes, healthy lifestyle inside and out.

That's always been. And when was it that you met your husband?

I met my husband actually after college. After college.

And we both say that it was a great thing that we met after college.

You know, I'm like, anyway, so yeah, we met after college and we married in 2000 and had our firstborn son in December of 2000.

Okay. I'm curious how you actually met him. You know, actually, it was a blind date.

Believe it or not, one of my good friends, yeah, believe it or not, one of my good friends, Keely, she wanted to introduce me to this guy who really knew how to dance super well and he was super fun.

[15:38] And I was kind of iffy, you know, you know how it is. Yeah. Yeah.

So we end up meeting one night going to a basketball game, all of us, all four of us, her and her boyfriend at the time, who is her husband now.

And my husband now, but boyfriend or just a blind date back then.

At that point. Yeah, yeah.

So what is I mean, of course, we live in the age of, you know, dating apps and Tinder and things like that.

And I love that this was kind of happening at a simpler time in, you know, in our way of living.

But I also love, so you had, you know, your friends came with you, so you weren't awkwardly alone. Right.

Right, yeah, and you're at a basketball game, so there's a reason to kind of be distracted.

So you're not stuck trying to have awkward conversation, but you can get excited and you can bond.

Who was playing?

The Rockets, I remember, obviously the Houston Rockets. I don't remember the opposing team, but that was a long time ago, 24, 25 years ago. I don't know.

[16:44] Yeah, because we met in 1999. Okay. I was like, man, was Hakeem Olajuwon still playing for the Rockets back then?

Mm-hmm.

You know more because I mean, I just watch baseball now with all the boys.

Growing up, he was one of my favorite basketball players to watch because he had like, It was called like the dream shuffle.

And yeah, so he had- I'm sure all my boys know it, I don't. Right, right.

So he was a phenomenal, phenomenal player. So you meet this guy, you go to this basketball game.

After the basketball game, it was just like, see you later, it was nice to meet you, off we go.

Or are you like, hey, let's just hang out and go get a drink or how'd that go?

You know, actually it was kind of both.

He called me after, I don't really remember that evening. I mean, it was just a simple, goodbye, see you later, talk soon, I guess we must have swapped phone numbers.

Because he called and he called and, now see, now I'm going back.

Okay, this is what happened.

This is what happened. So delete that first part.

[17:55] He said he needed an out for a wedding. He had to go to a wedding and he needed a date.

And would I go and I said, of course, I mean, what fun is that?

Little did I know that his entire family would be there.

But yes, so as our first official date, that was our first date, too.

[18:20] But the other the other first official, yeah, first official, that wasn't like a blind date set up.

That's just like you're actually going as my date.

The appearance of a romantic partner at this point in time to a wedding where all the family's going to be there.

But I had no idea. Right, right. I didn't know all the family was gonna be there.

That's fantastic. It was a great, great evening. And was there like, you know, dear old aunt, like grandmas and great aunties and things that are, oh, hello, dear, nice to meet you.

Yes, and it was all Cuban, they're Latin. So it was a Cuban meeting, a Cuban wedding party, Beautiful Latin, yes, they definitely do, yes, they definitely do, and a Latin evening it was till breakfast.

Yup, that sounds about right. I spent a little bit of time in Cuba, and I lived in Mexico for a period of time as well, and there's actually a surprising number of Cubans that you bump into in Mexico as well, and so, boy, they sure do, I mean, yeah, they know how to have a good time.

They do.

Yes, it has been continued ever since. Yes. Yes.

So after the wedding, was there like, okay, I actually really like this guy?

[19:36] Yes. Yes, of course. I was in love with him and it all happened very fast.

Everything happened fast.

And we ended up getting married. And we had the baby Jacob who brought our family together.

This is the story I love to tell is how he brought us all together back in 2000. Yes, he did.

So Jacob brought us together. then, Next go ahead. Ask me the next question because I don't want to jump ahead because everything happened since we're about to get into that Accident. Yeah, everything happened.

[20:27] Yeah, so you're you're you're a young mom young young wife Newly married exciting hopes and dreams ahead of you. You know, you found this amazing dancer this wonderful man And you know and not only that it seems like he likes running as well Yes, yes. He would, we would run together actually. Or at least he pretended he liked to run and he would run with me, but then his running kind of, yeah. But, you know.

Is that when he was the charm to you? It's like, I'm going to pretend I like running with her.

Yes. There's the word we're looking for, charm. Okay. So and then and then comes the morning that that like changed your life forever. And so, To tell us you you head out for this run and maybe you can kind of set the stage a little bit I know obviously a part of it kind of maybe disappears from your memory. But from what you recall.

[21:20] How did that morning start out?

Okay. Well, I can start the evening before We're at dinner and an Italian restaurant. My parents, were in town from Saudi Arabia And we went to an Italian restaurant in the neighborhood, and I was sharing with the family, my husband, Jacob, Jacob was maybe a year and a half old, I mean, not that he could understand that, and my parents.

And I told them, gosh, I have my long last run tomorrow, it's early, I have to be there five or six, and all of a sudden Roel jumped in, I'll go with you, I'll bring Powerade Gatorade.

I was like, perfect, cool, I don't have to drive into Houston because we lived on the outskirts of Houston at the time.

So fast-forward to the next morning, which I don't remember.

[22:23] We came out we Did our stretches role was more about stretching than me and then we took off running, Or jogging at first were probably about half a mile three-fourths of a mile into it, and unbeknownst to us the car was coming from behind us as As the sidewalk ended, we veered to the median of the street, so we headed to the median of the street.

I was closer to the roadside if you kind of get my— Yeah, so you'd been maybe on his right-hand side, and so he's close to the median, you're on the roadside.

And I think also it helps to mention that you're kind of piecing some of this together.

You have pieced this together from what your husband and others shared with you about the incident as opposed to you having actual memories of this incident. Is that correct?

Correct. You are saying it right on. Yes, I have zero recollection of that morning, but that's what's interesting, the evening before I do.

So, the car was coming, next thing you know, No, Roel hears a whoosh on his right side, his right side, and I go flying.

[23:47] About, what was it, 50 feet? So from that point, I've landed on the hood of the car and rolled off.

The driver didn't know what he hit or what it was.

I thought maybe it was a deer. We were on the outskirts of Houston beginning the country land, but it's not really country quite yet, but it turns to that.

Anyway. He hears a sound. The driver hits you and you're thrown in the air and before the driver can come to a complete stop, you end up landing on the hood or the windshield of the vehicle.

[24:33] Yes. Windshield rolled off the hood. Oh, and then landed on the pavement.

On the pavement. Okay, so who? I'm trying to, what? Okay, you go ahead and ask the questions.

Yeah, so from there, you know, I imagine Raul is probably first like, what the heck just happened?

And maybe he's using more colorful language than that. Yeah, colorful is the word. More in shock, I think, obviously. Yeah, and the driver, the driver gets out of the car, the driver does stop and gets out of the car. Yes, indeed. I'm sure Ro was yelling at him saying colorful words as you stated. But he did and the driver did call the.

[25:25] 9-1-1 and did all the calls to, what is it, Life Flight or ambulance?

Well, like an air ambulance, helicopter area? Yes, we have Life Flight here.

That's amazing. And number one, founded by Dr. Red Duke. Amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. We have an equivalent in Alberta called STARS, which is the air ambulance.

And it's an acronym for, I forget what the acronym is for, but it's like a trauma evacuation helicopter. Oh, it's so, oh, I love that you guys have that because, oh, super important. Yes, indeed. It saves lives every day, every hour. And I was actually blessed enough to go this past, I don't know, it was a few months ago, six months ago. I had a tour of of the hospital over Dr. Red Duke's findings and all that.

[26:28] It was amazing. It was absolutely amazing. Just to see how they do it.

And I met all the medics. Yeah.

I wanted to highlight something here. When you and Raul went out running, did either of you have a cell phone with you?

He probably did. He probably did. He's Mr. Cell Phone.

We're talking early 2000s, right? And we're not talking smartphones that we have nowadays.

Like if it was anything, it would have been like a chocolate bar or a flip phone, maybe.

It was really cool back then. I think he had a flip, but he will be clear on it.

I think he had a flip.

And yes, the same phone number as now. So anyway, he, that's that answer.

[27:14] Go ahead. Yeah, for sure. So, they call, the air ambulance comes to evacuate you.

You know, and if I remember right, so you weren't that far from your house, you said maybe three-quarters of a mile.

Yeah, we were almost at the mile marker.

Right, right. And so, I think if I recall, did your dad end up on the scene as well? Yes.

Raul called my dad.

My dad answered, told my mom, take care of Jacob.

I'm going, something happened, but it's, everything's all good.

Yeah. He left to the scene of the accident.

He could just see a pile of blood and he didn't know if I was dead or alive. and.

[28:04] Life flight showed up first an old ambulance showed up. It wasn't equipped it correctly life came Time is of essence, Especially in those circumstances any trauma circumstance, Whether it be a heart attack stroke anything like any trauma so.

[28:30] Life flight came landed only I could go with the medics and Raul was not allowed to go. My dad was not allowed to go. Dad and Raul drove to the hospital and everyone met him there.

Everyone met him at the hospital. Right and so at this point in time you're you're unconscious and were you were you in a coma for like an extended period time after this? It was, yes, seven days from the impact and they also did body cooling. It was also a medically induced coma to help cool the body. Okay, see and you mentioned this body cooling sounds interesting. Maybe people aren't familiar with this as a concept necessarily when they put you in a coma but they're they're trying to maybe slow down some of the inflammatory response?

Yes, stabilize the body, everything going on, the trauma, the cells, the organs, just everything.

Just bringing everything down.

[29:38] Yeah, so you're in this coma for seven days. You've got an 18-month-old husband, and he's maybe at this point, maybe he's on some kind of compassionate leave.

But then you wake up, and do you recall what your first memory is waking up?

Anything that sticks out in your mind? Yes, actually. this sticks out big time and I've always.

[30:04] Talked about this. And I love talking about it. My first memory, clear memory, I don't know which hospital I was in, either the Memorial Hermann or Teer, I'm not quite sure. I'm thinking it was Memorial Hermann where I was first put. It was Father Drew, our priest at the Catholic Church in Shirtland. And he was in my face. And I remember with this calm, very calming, serene voice, Kristen, Kristen. It was really super cool. Well, I mean, it's Super cool. Now. I didn't I mean obviously at the time I thought honestly I was waking up from a nap and I was like, this is just so wonderful to have father drew here, With me just waking me up from a nap.

[31:13] Great but then obviously I mean that's all I remember and that's always very clear to me and And anyway, and if you fast forward four years, then I have my second son, and his middle name is Andrew, after Father Drew.

Okay, well, that's beautiful. So you wake up, you have this memory.

[31:40] Do you have all memory for the next couple of weeks, or is it still kind of spotty memories over the next couple of weeks after you woke up from the coma?

After I woke up from the coma, I think the first month, six weeks, or maybe even that first year, everything was spotty.

Yeah, yeah. Definitely.

[32:04] The whole first year. Yeah. And so you're trying to, of course, recover from this traumatic brain injury. How far, like, at what point in time did someone try to explain to you, like, what had happened? You know, actually, I was at tear rehab. I was in the rehabilitation hospital. You have to meet a certain standard to be transferred to tear memorial Hermann. And I had reached that level.

So I was there and mom let me know, but I still didn't get it.

She let me know that I had gotten hit by a car, that Raul and I were running.

It still didn't make sense to me, but I could tell with everybody's grim, sad looks, everyone was so sad and I didn't understand. But remember, I was in a coma. I don't know anything that happened. I just came back. I came back, and I don't understand why everyone's so sad.

Right. And how do you become... I know that there's the brain injury. Did you suffer broken bones as well?

Yes, I did. I had humerus. It was mainly on my right side, the right humerus, my ribs.

[33:34] The right ribs, the sacrum, the scapula. What else? There are about six, so I know I'm missing one. But that's okay. I'm wincing just thinking about this, all these bones being broken as it is.

And so you know you're from the time that you were first admitted to the hospital or first woke up from the coma to the time that you're transferred to this other or this rehab hospital What was the frame, the length of time?

It was two to three weeks. Okay, so you had two to three weeks in the first hospital.

In the first hospital that stabilized me.

Right. And during that two to three weeks, nobody was telling you like kind of what was going on, just that you were injured or something?

I don't remember any of it. Like I said, the only thing I remember was Father Drew at the time.

Okay, fair enough. I'm assuming he was at the first hospital.

The second, it's more clear because, and well, not clear, but clearer, and at the rehab hospital.

Okay. And so with this idea of rehab, so your stable has to be transferred.

[34:53] Maybe you're able to, are you able to walk because your legs weren't broken?

My legs were not broken, but my cerebellum was neatly sliced in half as it was reported to me. And that's.

[35:09] Responsible for balance and walking and all that good stuff. So I wasn't really walking. I was cheered on to do steps, take steps. I think I took three steps, one, two, three steps maybe, and in the original first hospital.

1. And that was, I'm gonna guess that was with support, like with a walker and people beside you kind of thing?

Yes, I had about Yeah, a lot of nurses a lot. I mean I'd say four to six and then, Family meaning my husband his parents and my parents cheering me on, well That's remarkable. I mean again, I kind of went hearing cerebellum split in half like you're sliced in half like oh boy, That's that's pretty now. Is that something that's surgically repaired or is it something that they just you know when they put the skull plates kind of back into place and the brain healed itself?

Yeah, I think it just heals itself. I did not have brain surgery.

It was, it healed itself, but still to this day, You know, I, I feel it when I'm.

Tired, hungry, just stressed, I just know my balance is off.

[36:37] Right, interesting. So you get actually kind of like a spidey sense that like, hey, I'm tired. Yeah, right?

Yeah, spidey sense. Yeah, a tingling in the back of your head, you know? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. My sister jokes about my sixth sense. Right, right.

So as you're kind of going through this rehab process and you mentioned kind of like the first year is spotty, What are the things that you're having to relearn?

Everything, relearn to walk, relearn to talk, relearn to eat.

It was everything. The first, especially the first six months, especially the first six months.

Right. And so thinking about that, so relearning to talk, like did you lose all speech capacity or just certain elements of your speech?

Not all, it was certain elements. it was maybe not making a complete sentence, pronouncing words correctly.

Yeah. Everything was just slurred, just completely slurred.

Right, okay. And relearning to eat, and Amita's learning to swallow again as well, or?

Yes, that is vague on my, I cannot recall the whole eating thing, but I did have to learn.

[38:01] I mean, just, yeah, that's a vague memory. I'll have to go back and ask all those questions.

Well, so was it, I guess what I'm thinking about was going through like the first kind of maybe six months back at home, actually, how long was it from the time of the accident to the time that you were able to return home?

It was a short, miraculous two months.

Yeah, it all happened very quickly. I'm thankful to our God and my youth. You know, all that.

God number one gets the credit. Absolutely. So you return home, but now you have this long road of recovery.

Yeah.

Maybe at a certain point, like the initial, maybe outpouring of support that might be there, Like people kind of just carry they got to carry on with their lives.

[38:58] Was it was there a point some points in time where you just felt yourself getting, you know Disappointed frustrated or angry at what happened to you or how did you cope with having to sort of relearn these abilities that you used to have?

You know it what?

It is what it is. So it was what it was and since I feel like since I was at such a young age, I I, all I knew is I had to look forward. I had to get better. That's all I knew.

Me complaining wasn't part of the equation. If anything, it would just...

It was a waste of time. I don't ever remember complaining or being upset. I just knew I had to get better. That's all I recall, to get better and to do all my therapy sessions, to go to therapy.

[39:54] Every kind of therapy and just get better. That's all I knew.

Yeah, yeah. Of course, you're a mom to a young son here as well. And I mean, what a kind of a, way to start a marriage. I mean, obviously, you had been in marriage for a couple of years here, but you're really very young in marriage at this point in time.

Very, very young in marriage, yes. Right. How did your husband cope that you can recall?

Oh, geez. I mean, I guess we coped with one another. I mean, we helped one another.

We're both there for each other, and I'm sure my family and his family were there more so for him.

I mean, I was in the midst of getting better, but I did know he was my husband, and I knew Jacob was Jacob, and I just knew that to make that the best, and just give it my all.

And I think we it can be relatively easy for us to overlook the spouse or the partner in a situation like this because of course all of the focus or most of the focus is on you and rightfully so you you are the injured party severely injured a lot to recover from.

[41:13] But there is this other party who's also been traumatized by what he saw I mean he saw his own wife lying on the pavement in a pool of blood unconscious not sure if she was dead or alive Still to this day, still to this day, I cannot imagine the fear that ran through his body.

Especially that first week of the unknown, because they didn't know if I was going to survive.

Those feelings.

[41:44] Yeah, wow. That's really quite something to think about. But at what point in your rehab did you sort of feel like you're starting to get back to yourself?

And I know you're not the same person after something like this, but how far along was it when you started to feel like, I kind of feel like myself again.

I want to say that summer, that summer, that next summer, so 2001 summer.

[42:20] I started feeling like myself. So I don't know, that again, six, seven, eight months, nine months post, post.

[42:31] I even went, you know, I had been training. My husband was my biggest advocate and he would take me to the track.

And it started with one step, then two, then three, sometimes backwards.

Like I would go backwards and not be able to do anything, but he would take me to the track almost daily because that's what I love to do, was run.

Was run and he took me back to what I love to do and then slowly that progressed and I ended up going to the San Francisco half marathon. However, I walked it. I walked it. I ran it, but I would say a lot of walking took place right right, but this was uh how how long after your accident That was, that was July, end of July, so eight months, but that was done.

Although there was a lot wrong, like meaning, gosh, sleeping.

Um...

The noise factor, not really flying, just there were a lot of variables that, oh, the eyesight, the eyesight.

[43:57] My eyesight and my balance were big ones. I saw double for one year from the impact of it, the impact of the accident, I saw double for one year, and that was surgically fixed a year post.

[44:15] CB Okay. Yeah. And so, eventually, you got to a place where you were able to get pregnant again, and you had your second child. And that was about how long after the accident was your second child born? DR. KING Four years.

CB Four years. Okay. DR. KING Yes, about four years. I was told I wasn't to get pregnant. There was a lot of variables on that. Don't get pregnant.

Just the stress on the body. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I mean, my body had enough stress and for some reason, I wouldn't take no as an answer.

So I searched for the doctor that would tell me yes. I went to a high-risk pregnancy doctor here in Houston, and he said, I don't see any reason why you should not get pregnant.

And I took his word, and it moved forward from that point.

Yeah, that's wonderful. So we're here talking 20 plus years after the accident.

And so, I mean, I think it's quite remarkable what you are able to recall 20 years later from an accident that involves a serious brain injury.

That in itself is already remarkable, but...

I don't understand any of it, and all of it goes to God up above because.

[45:43] When I hear about this story that you and I are talking about.

[45:49] Immediately I'm like, oh goodness the poor mom the poor lady, What the heck but then I realized and you know, I cry for that lady, Then I realized that lady is me. Yeah, and, hmm anyway, so all of it is just remarkable unbelievable a miracle and, It was God's will Right. And so looking back. Would you ever take this incident out of your past if you could?

No, I wouldn't.

[46:29] Why not I've just learned so much in these 20 years about life and really more so that first year, believe it or not, just about life. So I would never take it back because it's taught me so much. And I've always wanted to tell my story. And finally, I wrote the book, But I really thought it was coming out as a movie or something like that, just a documentary or something just for other people.

I could help so many people because I really feel like with that positive mindset and with everything lined up correctly.

[47:25] It's possible. The impossible is possible. Well this is the beauty of stories and particularly why this podcast focuses on telling very real stories of overcoming adversity because, you know we would hear the story of someone who's got a serious brain injury and naturally we want to go towards the worst possible outcome unless we hear something that opens our mind to the possibility that a different outcome is possible. So here where you're able to have another child, you're able to have a marriage, you know, that can usually function. I mean, your husband sounds like a remarkable man. I'd sure like to shake his hand and just say.

[48:03] Absolutely just incredible that, you know, because I know accidents like this can, can also tear people apart, just the stress of trying to deal with that. And so.

[48:13] His quality of character. So shout out to Raul. You're a good man.

He's a good, he's a great man, right? He truly is. You'll love meeting him.

[48:23] Yeah, that's amazing. And so you titled your book Sunrise, and what prompted you to give it the title Sunrise? There were many meanings. Metaphorically speaking, there were many.

It happened at sunrise. Sunrise is the meaning of a new beginning, a new day, inspiration.

But the reason, I mean, having, there were so many meanings to sunrise, but especially because it happened at sunrise. But to me, how coincidental is it that sunrise has all those meanings, is such a huge force in life, the sun.

I mean- It represents like a very healthy new beginning and we feel inspired by that. And you also have a companion journal to the book, Sunrise.

Yes, and is that is that intended to help those who are either survivors of or supporters of someone who's gone through brain injury?

Or how does the Sunrise Journal play into this? It actually is the it holds hands or a sister to the book.

[49:45] Sunrise Journal, it's just a basic...

[49:52] Inspirational journal where you can put your thoughts down. It's for the patient if they're able to write, also for the caretaker to write for them or just log.

And it has all the important things on it and it has a inspirational quote for the day and then it states the affirmations that you would like to proceed with, your intentions. It has if you want to, I mean, what kind of therapy you should get. I mean, yes, physical and occupational speech, but there's also so many others like equine music therapy. And then there are a lot of check boxes for what kind of vitamins help, or what kind of nutrients help with the brain, neurologically speaking.

So it's just everything in a short form where the patient or the caregiver could benefit from.

[51:06] Yeah, absolutely. That sounds like a fantastic resource. And so if we kind of look back over this, there it is, it's coming across the screen.

So for those that are listening, we're getting to see the cover of the book, and I'll make sure of course to include links to the book where and the Sunrise Journal as well in the show notes of this.

[51:27] The one other thing I wanted to ask, we look back with the benefit of hindsight on experiences, and what did you...

I'm fighting 2020. Right. And I'm thinking, what did you learn from going through this experience?

And I'm thinking more about maybe something that you wish could have happened had you known, and that has allowed you to become maybe an advocate or a voice for other people saying, you know, there was this miraculous recovery, but here's some things that I would have loved to known, and I wanna share that with you so that you might know what to look for or do.

Yeah, definitely. There are things that I wish, I mean, every brain, to begin with every brain injury is different. Different parts of the brain are affected. Gosh, have a really good doctor, neurologist, great physical therapist, occupational therapist, just have a team behind you, that is guiding you through all these little things. I mean, I'm talking little things such as eyesight, such as my thirst was affected.

[52:47] I couldn't get enough to drink. My satiety for thirst would not take place.

But you felt immensely thirsty, which is kind of funny. It's a very random thing to think about.

How difficult would that be to basically be constantly thirsty? It's like you've had enough water to drink. It was horrible, but I'm glad it was fixed. How do you fix something like that?

Actually, there's a nose spray you take twice a day. I forgot the name of it. But I'm sure they've come, this is what, 18, 20 years ago. But I'm sure they've come up with amazing things these days with all the medical information they have out there with our incredible research doctors.

Yeah.

And gosh, back to Hindsight 2020, I'm trying to think of more things, that would help any survivor or their caretaker.

[53:50] Email me, that's all I can say, cause I can't, I'm trying to think. That's okay.

I think you'd be a fantastic resource. And I think it'd be interesting to ask Raul this question, from the perspective of the supporter, So if somebody does email you, which I strongly recommend they do, Raul could offer some input as well in terms of here's how to be an amazing support because here you are, what, 25 years after you got married?

[54:20] Well, we just had our 23rd. 23rd, okay, fantastic. So to be able to stay together, and do you feel like your marriage is stronger as a result of having gone through that?

Yeah. Bold placed, yes. Capitalized, yes, most definitely.

And I think that's so important to highlight because we think that going through something like that, like it is devastating, but it has the potential to really work something incredible into a relationship.

You bond in ways that are just unspeakable, really. They're only words to describe. Unspoken bond.

Yeah, incredible. We do.

So just as we close out the interview, I always like to ask my guests, someone who's listened to your story today, and what cool story it is, from Turkey and Saudi Arabia to back in Texas, like you've got a great story.

If someone was to take one thing away from hearing this conversation today, what would you like them to take away?

Okay, I would say live life, don't let life live you.

[55:35] Awesome, I love that. Well, Kristen, thank you so much for being on today.

It's truly been a pleasure and you have a remarkable story and I wish all the best going forward.

Thanks for having me, Coach John.

Really appreciate it.

Thank you so much for tuning in to Between the Before and After.

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